I am so grateful to My Fitness Found for featuring the following blog post on their website:
We’ve all heard that song Talking Body by Tove Lo right? The lyrics go like this, “Now if we’re talking body, you got a perfect one so put it on me…” it goes downhill from there, but I love it anyway. But the girl’s got a point: your body is perfect because, it is.
I’ve been embarrassed by and ashamed of my body for the past 24 years. I’m 26.
You literally can’t find a picture of me in a bikini except for this one that was taken in high school. I remember the moment it was taken. Senior year spring break. Woof - so many memories. I had offered to take the picture. I did everything I could to not be documented in this bikini. I was 17. I’m the one on the far left - the ginger. As you can see, I was not fat.
In March 2014 I was introduced to the Whole30 - it’s a book about food and it changed my world. It changed how I eat and how I think about food. I can’t even tell you the last time I counted a calorie. I don’t know the last time I told my friends that I couldn’t hang out with them because I have to workout or because I don’t have any clothes that I look good in or because I can’t be in a bikini next to so-and-so. I feel ridiculous writing that and even admitting that that was something that I did regularly, but it’s the truth. Andthe more I talk about my truth, the more I meet people who totally get it.
Having confidence in my body started when I learned how to listen to it. I learned how to hear it say, “I’m actually hungry.” I also learned how to listen when it says, “I don’t feel good when you eat that” and, “when you eat that I have so much energy!” I eat whole foods. I eat local foods. And I mostly eat vegetables. And then sometimes I drink beer, eat nachos, and dive into a bag of candy pumpkins because that’s my choice! And I don’t feel guilt or shame afterwards. Sometimes the guilt and the shame creep in - 15+ years of negative self talk doesn't go away after changing your eating pattern for 30 days. It doesn't go away after 2 years of practicing positive self talk every single day. I'm not sure if it will ever go away. But I hear it less and I allow it to have less of an impact on me - also, I empathize with that part of myself. I sometimes go, "hey, we've been there. I understand what you're feeling. I don't agree with you and I won't allow you take over this moment or this day. But just know, I hear you and I hate that you feel that way."
Understanding food and how it plays a role in my body and in my life has played a big part in my confidence. So has my physical strength. But most of my confidence comes from the way that I talk to myself and they way I talk about myself. Honestly, sometimes I walk by myself in the mirror and think, “ya hot!” 3 or 4 years ago, that's something that I never would have said or even thought about myself. I think that we relate this to being humble - our inability to receive a compliment. But being humble is knowing the truth, standing in the truth, and doing so without pretentiousness. It's honoring the authentic without the ego. These days, when someone compliments me on my legs (known in my family as the Moore Thunder Thighs), I say thank you! Because you know what my "thunder things" are awesome at?! SO MUCH! Like moving couches and boxes. Doing box jumps and kettle bell swings. Playing with my dog. Dancing all night long. High Kicks. You know, those kinds of things.
I recently had a student that was saying how she’s gained some fat in all these weird places where she’s not used to storing fat. She just turned 40. She was saying how "gross and fat she’s getting" and I said *in a relatively stern manner*, “would you talk to a friend or a daughter that way?!” She was quiet for a second. The answer was absolutely not. So why do we talk to ourselves that way? I don’t know the answer to that. But I do know that we shouldn’t. I do know that it is extremely unkind. I do know that our thoughts have a huge amount of power. I do know that they can be empowering and I do know that they can be destructive. We need to love our bodies and love them for what they can do. Love them because they are a beautiful vessel for our lives. We would not exist without our bodies. But also, you, your personality and your way of BEing, is not your body. Your body is simply your soul’s beautiful and always changing address. Home is where your heart is (get it?).
I encourage you to become your own friend. To speak to yourself and about yourself with love, with understanding, with compassion, with acceptance, with balance, with confidence!