It seems like an obvious choice for July doesn’t it? America celebrates independence day on July 4… freedom from the British monarchy… but, being that we’re in the work of self-awareness, connection, and growth, I’d like to challenge with this question:
So in what way can you play more in life? Instead of going on a run for miles, can you go on a run with a friend and make a bunch of pit stops just to see what’s around? Or maybe even instead of going for a run, could you try to play soccer? Can you have a game night at your house? Can you make you and your friends a bingo card for the month and have fun checking things off together around town? Can you learn how to play the guitar? Have you tried painting, pottery, gardening, or magic? Dancing in your underwear at home? SPORTS! But maybe not the kind you care about winning? Roller blading. Paddle boarding. Swimming with flippers on. Maybe just wearing flippers as shoes because that’s fun for everybody!
Presence is being here, now - being here, now in your work project. Being here, now in the conversation you’re having with your mother. Being here, now when you’re playing with your children… or arguing with them. Being here, now in each and every squat, kettlebell swing, and step. Presence is isn’t the lack of distraction (because, that’s not real!), rather, presence is coming back to what IS here, now, over, and over, and over again allowing us to become more deeply aware, and… you got it. Present.
You might be asking yourself, “what does unlearning mean?” Unlearning has many ways of being interpreted and applied to our lives but I like to think of it as actively and intentionally removing a concept, thought or belief from our awareness AND (this is really important) unawareness.
Resilience is an innate tool in each and every one of us. We are all resilient every day. You were tired, so you drank some coffee and then went on with your day. You fell on a box jump, but you tried it again a week later. You had your heart broken, but after some time, you set up a Bumble dating profile.
This month’s theme is SELF CARE. Not the kind that’s expensive and pampering. The real kind. The kind that helps you see the world. The kind that helps you feel at ease and grounded. Take care of yourself so you can take care of each other. Put your mask on.
Forgive yourself for not knowing everything or being everything that you always thought you'd be or living the life you always imagined you would… You’re human, and you’re doing your best… just like the rest of us.
So with courage, with gratitude, with the understanding of many types of privilege you have in your life, with compassion, reach out to someone with whom you’d like to connect and talk. Get coffee, go for a walk, invite them over for dinner… and then talk about real stuff.
Every time my heart has broken in some way or another, I've learned the most. I've grown the most. My world view has expanded the most. That heart ache is not easy - but each time it feels like some sort of mask has been lifted and I can see myself and everyone around me a little more clearly - or even at all. So that's some serious shit that I'm grateful for... maybe not always in the moment... and still some stuff not even "yet." But maybe eventually I'll see it.
“Where empathy meets the willingness to relieve someone else’s suffering.”